My cousin Michelle (not her real name) was born when I was in high school, and while we didn't live nearby and I was too cool to hang out with a baby, she and I grew very close.
Her parents would often point to me and tell her to keep her grades up so she could grow up, go to college, and be successful, like me.
When I introduced G to the family at my college graduation, she immediately developed a crush on him. She would introduce us to her friends as "This is my cousin, Jilt, and this is...this is...this is my G." She would sit as close as possible to him during family meals and get-togethers. She would eagerly get him a beer when he asked for it. She was almost attached to his side for years.
On a long car trip when she as about 10 years old, G taught Michelle about gravity by demonstrating how her Beanie Babies fell when dropped. She called us six months later when her class was learning about gravity and she felt superior because she already knew all about it from "her" G.
I found a birthday card that said something like "send this card back to me on my birthday." For 10 years, we'd send that card back and forth, resigning it and rewriting birthday wishes. We'd find new ways to package it so the other wouldn't know it was "the" card. I don't know what happened it or why it stopped.
Then, her parents divorced. My uncle got custody of Michelle after a long, hard fight with his ex-wife. It was the best thing for her. Michelle went on to become a straight A student and a cheerleader. She actually changed my perspective of cheerleaders - she was friends with everyone, very empathetic, really truly a nice person, and wicked smart.
Last Christmas at a family get together at my parents' house, Michelle got into a big fight with her boyfriend (a 22 year old part-time tattoo "artist with a major marijuana habit), resulting in hours of screaming, crying phone conversations in the middle of the night. At one point, I went outside to ask her to keep it down. I took the phone away from her, told boyfriend (whom I've never met) that she'd call him tomorrow, and escorted her to her room. I held her as she cried about the silly thing they were fighting over (kid stuff, really). She thanked me the next day for listening to her.
I found out this weekend that Michelle, now a senior in high school, is pregnant. With the tattoo artist's child. She's about three months along and has totally abandoned plans to go to college.
I don't know what to do, what to say. I'm so disappointed in her. I'm so sad for her. I'm worried about what her future holds now that she's going to be a mom. And, I know that she's not ready for the responsibility of motherhood.
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3 comments:
I've wanted babies for years, but now that I have Kara, I know that now was the best time for her to enter my life. I can't imagine being a mother in high school--especially considering my boyfriend at the time! I hope everything works out for Michelle.
Oh man, this is a hard one. I liked what Frema said. One of my first thoughts after having my son was "how do young single mom's do this?!"
Here's hoping your cousin has a good support system in her life.
That is sad but sometimes it really can work out. My sister got pregnant at 17, finished high school via correspondence courses, married the father and today, 16 years and 3 kids later, they are still happily married!
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