Because a Trained Monkey Would be Better than Afternoon Teacher

P attends a very reputable daycare. It's a chain, but a very top-tier, well-respected one. He's doing well since we made the transition more than a year ago. His development - verbally, socially, mentally, physically, etc - is terrific. But, I'm starting to have a problem with the care side of things.

The head teacher in the Playful Peacock room is exceptional. The afternoon teacher, however, leaves a lot to be desired. While the head teacher engages the kids, asks questions, and seems like she genuinely enjoys her job, the afternoon teacher is quiet. Really quiet. G doesn't like afternoon teacher.at.all.

I really didn't have a problem until recently. My complaints (all of which have happened after head teacher leaves for the day and afternoon teacher is in charge):

• P's security blanket disappeared. I might be a rookie mom, but I'm no fool. I had a spare, identical "blankie" at home, but with the primary one gone, we're done to just the one. No one knows where it went.
• P came home covered in red permanent ink - on picture day. Sent him to school dressed in "picture clothes" (really, a polo shirt and khakis I bought the day before for our upcoming vacation). Picked him up and he was covered from the collar of his shirt to the soles of his socks (seriously, the bottoms of his socks) in red ink. I've washed the outfit six times now. The ink is permanent. Who gives 2.5 year olds PERMANENT ink? On picture day? When the kids are dressed up? Oh, I know - afternoon teacher.
• P has had Pull-up wedgies for weeks. The afternoon teacher refuses to pull up the Pull-ups. She opens the sides, puts them on, and tries to reseal the sides. In all of P's activity, the sides split, causing the back half of the Pull-up to get wedged in his little tush. Not only does this look uncomfortable, but it causes accidents. Major accidents.
• Accidents like the one yesterday. I picked P up and found him wearing his paint shirt (yes, he has one of my old t-shirts for painting - yet another reason I was ticked about the ink thing). G dropped off a change of clothes on Monday, but instead, afternoon teacher choose to put P in a men's medium t-shirt because of a blow-out. I couldn't find P's change of clothes in his cubby, and when I asked P if he had a change of clothes he responded that afternoon teacher "threw them in the garbage."

I'm willing to let a lot go - hell, I couldn't handle a classroom of a dozen 2.5 year olds. But, I'm reaching a boiling point with all the stuff that's happened over the last month or so. I talked to head teacher this morning, who appeared very concerned about the ink problem, wedgies, and paint shirt situations. Turns out, head teacher didn't realize any of that happened (she knew about the blankie). She promised to talk to afternoon teacher.

I can only hope afternoon teacher gets better - or leaves - or P gets potty trained so he can move up to the Happy Hummingbird class. With the state of potty training, I'll be lucky if one of the first two scenarios happens.

Note: Hey, if you received an e-invitation to a grand opening event from me and I recalled it, but you read it anyway, I'm mort.i.fied that I had a typo in the invitation. I fixed it as soon as I discovered it and resent the email. Don't hold that one typo against me - I really want you to come - you'll have fun, I promise!

In the Rain, Something Sunny to Think About

From GORGEOUS weekend to cold, grey, rainy days. Spring sucks. To keep spirits up in these icky spring days, here's how we spent the lovely weekend:

When Pumpkin first saw his new soccer nets, he thought they made a perfect house. Actually, he called his new dwelling a "cage" but that just sounds wrong.

Then we taught him how to USE the net. You could totally see the wheels turning in his head, "Seriously, I can KICK the ball, and no one will get upset? Love it!"

Unfortunately, after every scored goal, Pumpkin would run around the back yard, yelling, "Go Cardinals! Homerun!" Don't hold a scholarship for him yet, Pumas!
Next, we moved onto baseball and tractors. Seriously, who would've thought they could have been incorporated into a game that would keep Pumpkin busy for an hour... Love it!

A boy and his hoe. Finally, it was off to fix a fence. Pumpkin noticed that the neighbor's fence has loose screws. When the garden tool didn't work, he found some masking tape and taped up each screw.

How to Make an Impression in a Client Meeting

Scene: Client meeting in Dallas. Room full of old, grey-haired, white men. Main client setting up an ice breaker game - it's one of those "interview the person next to you so you can introduce that person to the rest of the group" kind of things. Our main interview question: If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would it be and why.

My partner and I were toward the end of the room, so we sat through about 30 other "introductions." Everyone had really "smart" answers like Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Jesus...

My answer: Britney Spears. Reason: I want to knock some sense into her.

Unfortunately, I don't think my old, grey-haired, white man knew who Brit-Brit is. As he introduced me to the group, revealing my dinner guest, he left it with, "Jilt would like to eat dinner with Britney Spears..."

The end. That was it. So, I stood up and said, "Well, you have to tell them why..."

Unfortunately, time was up, so in a room full of pseudo-intellectual dream dinner guests, I was left hanging in the wind with my Britney response. Great way to make a first impression.

God, I hate icebreakers!

Filling in for Daddy this Morning...

I stood in the dining room, gathering my keys, Blackberry, laptop bag, and purse (am I a pack mule?). "Bye, Pumpkin," I called into the kitchen where he sat eating "hobo toast" (aka cinnamon toast).

"Bye bye, Mommy! I wuv woo!" he called back.

"Bye, G!" I called in to the kitchen. "Love you!"

Silence.

"See you, G!" I called again.

"Bye, Honey Bunny!" Pumpkin called in a deep voice (well, "deep" for a toddler), using G's nickname for me.

Since G stepped into the garage, I guess Pumpkin thought he'd fill in for his daddy.

Home Improvement

Things around here have been a little busy. Work travels continue, and we're preparing to put the house on the market - again. But before we do, there were a couple of things we wanted to improve - like the floors on the main level.

What I thought would be a weekend project has turned out to be a four week mess. G has really done a great job on the bamboo floors - I've always said he's handy for a lawyer!

Hey, construction is fun - I finally have a use for my plastic tools!

You might think this photo is blurry, but I'm just moving really FAST!

Hey look! A nail! Can I keep it?

We're getting close to finished. "Yep, that's my big boy potty in the middle of the floor. Gotta problem with that?"

Disappointed and Sad

My cousin Michelle (not her real name) was born when I was in high school, and while we didn't live nearby and I was too cool to hang out with a baby, she and I grew very close.

Her parents would often point to me and tell her to keep her grades up so she could grow up, go to college, and be successful, like me.

When I introduced G to the family at my college graduation, she immediately developed a crush on him. She would introduce us to her friends as "This is my cousin, Jilt, and this is...this is...this is my G." She would sit as close as possible to him during family meals and get-togethers. She would eagerly get him a beer when he asked for it. She was almost attached to his side for years.

On a long car trip when she as about 10 years old, G taught Michelle about gravity by demonstrating how her Beanie Babies fell when dropped. She called us six months later when her class was learning about gravity and she felt superior because she already knew all about it from "her" G.

I found a birthday card that said something like "send this card back to me on my birthday." For 10 years, we'd send that card back and forth, resigning it and rewriting birthday wishes. We'd find new ways to package it so the other wouldn't know it was "the" card. I don't know what happened it or why it stopped.

Then, her parents divorced. My uncle got custody of Michelle after a long, hard fight with his ex-wife. It was the best thing for her. Michelle went on to become a straight A student and a cheerleader. She actually changed my perspective of cheerleaders - she was friends with everyone, very empathetic, really truly a nice person, and wicked smart.

Last Christmas at a family get together at my parents' house, Michelle got into a big fight with her boyfriend (a 22 year old part-time tattoo "artist with a major marijuana habit), resulting in hours of screaming, crying phone conversations in the middle of the night. At one point, I went outside to ask her to keep it down. I took the phone away from her, told boyfriend (whom I've never met) that she'd call him tomorrow, and escorted her to her room. I held her as she cried about the silly thing they were fighting over (kid stuff, really). She thanked me the next day for listening to her.

I found out this weekend that Michelle, now a senior in high school, is pregnant. With the tattoo artist's child. She's about three months along and has totally abandoned plans to go to college.

I don't know what to do, what to say. I'm so disappointed in her. I'm so sad for her. I'm worried about what her future holds now that she's going to be a mom. And, I know that she's not ready for the responsibility of motherhood.

Really? 10 a.m. on a Tuesday...

I work "outside the home." I'm unapologetic about having a career and a family. But it's things like this that really tick me off.

Today in my inbox, I received an email from Pottery Barn Kids - a store in which I've spent more than a reasonable amount of money over the last three years. Seems good ol' Pottery Barn Kids has launched a Book Club. Nice enough, right? Well, the club meets Tuesday mornings. Tuesdays. As in, during the work week. At a time when I'm ... well, working.

It's not like we would (probably) attend weekly reading events at an overpriced retailer, but it really annoys me that companies blatantly disregard working moms.

Steps off soap box.