Before today, I didn't even know this was a topic of discussion.
My background is one of I-love-yous. My childhood was filled with giving and receiving those three words - to parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, sister, cousins, friends. To this day, I end every phone conversation with my parents with "I love you" and a kissing sound. Every. Phone. Conversation. And, I talk to them at least twice a day - that's a lot of I-love-yous.
I say "I love you" to Pumpkin several times a day. It's not because he wouldn't know it otherwise. It's not because we don't "show" him that we love him through our actions. It's just because...well, because I love him.
I remember what I said to him the first time I held him (all 9 lbs., 23 inches of him), "Hi. I'm your mom. I don't know what I'm suppose to say to a baby, but, oh my God, I love you so much." Then I sang the alphabet song to him because I didn't know what else to do. (To this day, the A-B-C Song is "our" song.)
I-love-you just goes with hugs and kisses. I want those three words to be the first thing Pumpkin hears every morning, and the last thing he hears before falling asleep. I want him to hear "I love you" for no reason at all, and for every reason in the world. I want him to hear those words from others, too - from his dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I want him to be comfortable saying "I love you" to his children someday.
Families are different; I know that. (Whew, the subject of the differences between my parents and my in-laws could fill a year's worth of blog posts.) I just didn't realize that this was a topic on which I was being - or could be - judged as a mom.
That woman who's saying "love you" to her kid at the grocery store for no reason? That's me. The woman who's cuddling her son saying "I love you" after he falls at the playground? Yep, me. The woman who covers her toddler's head with kisses and says "love you, baby" before putting him in his carseat? Guilty.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
You're such a great mom. (Hi! I'm still reading!)
I grew up in a house with very few I love you's, and it's something I very much wanted to hear. I was actually jealous of the "Full House" family, because Danny Tanner said it to his girls so naturally, all the time. When I did hear it as a kid, however, because it was so seldom it felt awkward and forced. I swore I would never do that to my kids, and now they hear I love you's fifteen to three hundred times a day.
It does something for people to hear it, doesn't it?
hmm hi I'm a new reader. my dad always said it at weird times like when i was running outside to go do something he'd stop me and say, you know i love you, right.. i know mom always said it when they left, at night before bed, etc, we still say it on the phone each time. now i try and tell them thank you for teaching me this or thank you for raising me like that because its made a difference in my life. etc. i guess it never
sorry bout that. occurred to me that people didnt say it to their kids. weird. what like you dont love them or you dont feel like you have to say it..odd
That's me too. I say it all the time. Like Molly, we didn't hear that much in our house either. I'm determined to be different.
And there is nothing like the warmth you feel the first time they say it back.
Post a Comment